A Hung Parliament

Bob Katter. Running the country.

It's so stupid it's awesome

Consumer Accesories, How I Love You!

(The long version of the story about How MelWuv Got Her Caffeine On)

Okay, so:

So you know how I like coffee?

Busy BUSY day at work today - there at 0730, finished at 1530, and in between we had 17 outs, 2 fulls, and a gagillion lights - and the penthouse was TRASHED, much to my dismay: I walked in, and was all, F*cking NO! How can people behave like this? This is NOT my job, and my boss - The Man, whom I'm Workin' For - was all, MelWuv, it kinda IS your job - you're a cleaner, and I was giving it the, F*ck that! I was not employed to clean up after animals, and The Man was looking at me going, I don't remember you being so shrill when I hired you... You sound kind of like Elmo... So I was puce with rage, and just standing there shaking and saying things like, F*cking idiots, party like douches, and leave it for someone else to clean, what's wrong with these people, and The Man's going, Do we have to talk about appropriate workplace language, so I've hissed, Come up and have a look yourself, and he did, and he's like, Motherf*ckers, and I was all, Whoa, jumped a coupla steps, and The Man is grumping on about how women can say f*ck, and be all, We're reclaiming the right! but when a man says it, Oh, how dreadful, and we kinda short-circuited there, and got down to it, and anyway, I spent 80 MINUTES scrubbing the kitchen, and there were FIVE of us working in there the whole time - that's 400 minutes spent cleaning the penthouse - (oh, and we were throwing their balloons off the balcony - hours of fun, till we were told to smarten the fuck up) and Mr Fix-It maintenance was there because SOMEONE HAD THROWN A CHAIR OFF THE 20TH STORY PENTHOUSE BALCONY IN TO THE POOL (which was kind of rock'n'roll, so I was almost enjoying that part), and he was all, You're awesome girl - you'll fix it, which was very kind, and so we dragged thru the day, and then at 1530, I was grabbing my bag to get the hell outta Dodge - I was worried if I stood still too long they'd find something else for me to do - when Mr Fix-It grabbed me and said, Hey, look what we've got! and it turned out someone had moved out - our building has residential apartments in it, as well as the hotel rooms, and when ppl move, the hotel lends them our maintenance guys because we're charming - and left behind the stuff they didn't want, or were replacing with whizz-bang new fabulous items in the new house, and guess what? I have an espresso machine that has extra height clearance so you can fill a mug from the machine.

I told you it was the long version

Study This

In high school, I studied Pride and Prejudice /lip quiver/ I wanna study Fight Club!

I've already discussed the fact that smokers are more likely to be punched in the wang than kiddie fiddlers here, but today, the debate went up a notch.

My friend is lovely. She's beautiful, clever, funny as hell, and a terrific mother. Her three children are mature, well-balanced, clever, amazing ppl. I like going 'round to her place to hang out with all of them. That's how lovely this family is.

And sometimes when I'm round at hers, we'll have a glass of wine, and a cigarette. I will point out that I don't share (I have issues), but that she has her packet, and I have mine. We smoke and drink and slander common enemies who aren't present, and wiggle our toes in delight. There goes a good time that was had by all!

However, today her children found out that she smokes. She decided that it wasn't worth lying about anymore - a decision that, I think, takes courage. And the bubbies went nuclear. Shouts about choosing cigarettes or her family, about the absolute ruination she was bringing to their lives, the fact that she'll die from this habit were heard ringing out (the nieghbours must have enjoyed it). And, as I sooo obviously wasn't going to be invited to speak, I started thinking.

While I can understand their point of view - yes, even we smokers understand it's not the smartest decision ever made - I wondered what's the best way to go about it. If you love someone, and you're trying to help them make a choice about good health, is it okay to shout, bully and manipulate? Can you blame the ppl around them? Is it always this unsettling to realise that your parent, who you've known as Mum since the day you first thought about, actually turns out to be an individual who'll make her own choices and decisions, as an individual?

I can understand their worry - the underlying fear being that of health repercussions, and the severity of them - but, and this is my opinion, the answer still doesn't become, And bully and abuse her into a new course action. For all that I concur smoking is a dreadful habit, she's a grown up who'll make her own choices. If she quits, I'll support that, and not smoke around her, and tell her how fab she is for doing something so f*cking awesome. If she keeps smoking, I'll support that, and love her anyway. None of us are perfect - we're just trying to get through.

What am I missing?

Tik Tok

Formspring.me - Do you have any scars on your body? If so, how'd you get them?

My heart is scarred deeply from unrequited passions I've shared with so many...

The scars on my arms are defence wounds I received when trying to convince Daniel Craig to requite said passion.

(Still on holidays, monkeyfluffers. Go write your own brilliant posts so I'll have something nice to read in airports.)

Formspring.me - If you could go on a road trip with any person, dead or alive, who would it be and where would you go?

Christ alive people, how often do I have to say it? The road trip with the dead guy was one time. Stop treating me like I want to turn it into a habit.

(I'm on holiday. This is all you get. PWNED!)