I Wuv Sofie

Sofie asked for this.

Happy Birthday to MelWuv

Yesterday, MelWuv celebrated her (its?) first birthday. If she was an infant, she'd be smiling at strangers, still pretty attached to the boob, and not safe to be left near water unsupervised. As a blog, she's smiling at strangers, and still pretty attached to the boob.

Happy 1st Birthday, MelWuv!

Me Talk Pretty One Day, Pt. VII*

Fathers, lock up your daughters - the Fleet is IN, and they're not averse to buying bright young things drinks... Which is why I shall love them forever and ever.

However, as has been rightly pointed out, what use is my female love to sailors? Traditionally the military service of choice for those fellas who enjoy some hawt! male-on-male action, the jokes just write themselves. Seriously, spend any amount of time with a sailor and, if you're anything like me, you'll do yourself physical damage desperately sitting on the awesome, You're in the Navy - you must be gay! jokes. I'm sure it never gets old, rite guys?

Apparently not! Just as women can tell domestic abuse jokes, and raise a laugh, so can navy boys tell gay jokes. And, God help me, they're funny bastards.

While I spend far too much time giggling in the presence of officers (fine, I admit it - there may even be some hair flicking), the deadpan delivery of several lines had me close to hospitalised (admittedly only because I slid of the chair because I was laughing). Ladies and gentleman, the future of Her Majesty's Royal Australian Navy:

• It's not gay if you're underway!
• It's only gay if you push back
• They'll be separated after lights out with a bucket of cold water...

If laughing at such puerility is wrong, well, I don't wanna be right!

P.S. A big 'Thank You!' to the Overlord of the Pacific: you've introduced me to a level of crassness I never even knew was humanly possible.



* A nod to David Sedaris - he comes up with the genius, I merely steal and degrade it.