Study This

In high school, I studied Pride and Prejudice /lip quiver/ I wanna study Fight Club!

I've already discussed the fact that smokers are more likely to be punched in the wang than kiddie fiddlers here, but today, the debate went up a notch.

My friend is lovely. She's beautiful, clever, funny as hell, and a terrific mother. Her three children are mature, well-balanced, clever, amazing ppl. I like going 'round to her place to hang out with all of them. That's how lovely this family is.

And sometimes when I'm round at hers, we'll have a glass of wine, and a cigarette. I will point out that I don't share (I have issues), but that she has her packet, and I have mine. We smoke and drink and slander common enemies who aren't present, and wiggle our toes in delight. There goes a good time that was had by all!

However, today her children found out that she smokes. She decided that it wasn't worth lying about anymore - a decision that, I think, takes courage. And the bubbies went nuclear. Shouts about choosing cigarettes or her family, about the absolute ruination she was bringing to their lives, the fact that she'll die from this habit were heard ringing out (the nieghbours must have enjoyed it). And, as I sooo obviously wasn't going to be invited to speak, I started thinking.

While I can understand their point of view - yes, even we smokers understand it's not the smartest decision ever made - I wondered what's the best way to go about it. If you love someone, and you're trying to help them make a choice about good health, is it okay to shout, bully and manipulate? Can you blame the ppl around them? Is it always this unsettling to realise that your parent, who you've known as Mum since the day you first thought about, actually turns out to be an individual who'll make her own choices and decisions, as an individual?

I can understand their worry - the underlying fear being that of health repercussions, and the severity of them - but, and this is my opinion, the answer still doesn't become, And bully and abuse her into a new course action. For all that I concur smoking is a dreadful habit, she's a grown up who'll make her own choices. If she quits, I'll support that, and not smoke around her, and tell her how fab she is for doing something so f*cking awesome. If she keeps smoking, I'll support that, and love her anyway. None of us are perfect - we're just trying to get through.

What am I missing?

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