My gosh, has it really been so long since I last updated? My poor fans (yes, fuck you, I have fans - one day, I plan to induct them into my political party, the Monster Raving Looney Platform, and bring down the Government (the real question at this point would be: after 10 years of Howard, would (could?) a party known as the Monster Raving Looney Platform really be any worse? Hmmm... (Any predictions on the future of the MRLP should be sent to me on the back of a 10*4 card; best answer wins a small duck). Memo to self - form the MRLP, so my plans of national domination may be realised)... I was going to write "must be missing me", but honestly, after that sentence (a much nicer term than 'shit explosion across the page', if anyone's still listening, then have a gold star on me. Anyone actually following this entry gets... something really good. Much better than a pissweak gold star, anyway).
Of course, after that, I can't actually remember where this post was going, so please, talk amongst yourselves (hmmm, that's optimistic, isn't it? Th idea that more than one person is reading this? I'm just a glass half full kinda gal... No, I lie - I'm more a the glass is smashed on the floor, drink straight from the bottle person. But once again, I digress. (I am also MISTRESS! of the understatement)).
Of course, SERENDIPITY. I've had the laptop on which I'm typing this scintillating composition for over 2 years. (No, that's not the story, even if it is amazing that I have yet to break it beyond repair). Idly, I was playing with it last week when I pressed this little button thing-y that I have never pressed before - it has a little symbol that looks somewhat like an atomic explosion, and I confess I wanted to see if it was as exciting as it pretended to be.
YES, YES, OH GOD YES!
Now, usually when I press random button thing-ys, it inevitably ends up in the Bad Place. I've shorted other people's homes by simply flicking a light switch (hmmm, lucky old them!). So approximately 2.793 seconds after I'd given the button a poke, I felt like a neon sign exploded across my mind. GOOD WORK DICKHEAD, it merrily flashed in technicolour, YOU'VE JUST WIPED YOUR HARD DRIVE. Now, typically, this story would end at that point. But last week, it was not to be! I've obviously appeased the Parking Gods enough for them to put a word in for me with the deities that deal in the 'It's your own stupid fault, idiot' department. For it turns out, I HAVE WIRELESS. Now, I'm not sure on the principles of Wireless Internet Access (Christ, I'm surprised that I can dress myself in the mornings), but it means that if you go places that allow this kind of jiggery-pokery, you can get online without, and this may surprise you, using wires, or hooking to up modems, or all that other computer geek stuff.
This is possibly the coolest thing ever.
First published 26 September, 2006
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment