My Feminine Side

Listen up, lads - a secret look inside Female Culture. Unfortunately, not the baby-oil-and-pillow-fights side of it. More on that next time.

Being a woman, I have an uncanny knack for remembering the minutae of everyday life. Ppl I haven't seen for several months/years will be greeted, and then asked about their wives/children/home renovations. It's just one of those things - if I didn't do it, I'd be stripped of my heels and lipstick.

However, this system of female greeting - because it shows we care, dammit! - has strayed off into strange territory: I was looking in my (lovely!) mother's e-mail inbox, because she'd had an update on the health of our summer retreat (if I'm honest here, a caravan) sent to her, and God bless her, she hasn't quite mastered Forwarding, so I was forced to view her original e-mail. Of course, I had a squizz at what other missives she'd received (What am I, a saint? What if she received something REALLY good, and didn't tell me about it?). There was the usual CHEAP VIAGRA!!! and SHAVED MULES IN 1001 POSITIONS!!! crap, the usual mailing list nonsense, and a succession of e-mails detailing a photographic progression of Jake. The problem, I hear you ask? I didn't recognise this infant, nor his parents. Couldn't even place the name in a context.

Jesus, as women, we're now expected to care about anyone shorter than a foot who can't hold their own head up. Feminism obviously wasn't as successful as we'd all hoped.