Me Talk Pretty One Day, Pt. VIII*

The only thing better than making a bizarre but inexplicably funny comment is making it to someone who appreciates the nonsense, and then adds to it. I plan to marry the Lieutenant.

MelWuv

• You have kittens in your underpants. I checked while you were sleeping on Friday.

the Lieutenant

• I don't know how, as I didn't have any on... Now I come to think of it, I don't even own any! The previous owner must have left both his underpants and kittens.

MelWuv

• Does it hurt you to lie to your future wife and mother of your unborn children so callously? You do so have underpants! And kittens. Damnit, YOU HAVE KITTENS IN YOUR UNDERPANTS! You know it, I know it, deal.

At this pt, I thought I had bested him. BUT NO! (This response pretty much clarifies why I'm going to marry him. If he's interested. And stuff...)

the Lieutenant

• Callous, me? Hardly. I am a friend to all kittens everywhere, as long as they don't come within 10 yards of me, or within a mile of the underpants I don't have.
  Too much white wine, I suspect, and you spotted my pet mongoose hiding in a tea cosy.

MelWuv

• That's well nigh impossible - after a pitched but silent battle, I bested your mongoose, and trapped him under a laundry basket. If you've done any washing since Friday, you'll probably be aware of this.
  
  Ricky-Ticky-Tarvy my ass.

the Lieutenant

• That would explain the hole in the floor under the laundry basket. And the kittens on his breath. Damn, well, it's my fault for forgetting to feed him. I guess he dug for freedom, tough little feller he was. You're a better man than I am, Gungha Din...
  

I'm so in love rite now.



* A nod to David Sedaris - he comes up with the genius, I merely steal and degrade it.