I Won't Tell If You Won't

The Lovely Dave got me thinking - I know, totally new territory for me, rite? - with his post Guilty Little Pleasures (check out the brilliance here) about the things we do just to spite our conscience. Long showers seem to feature prominently. But, as I've noted previously, the trick to brilliance is to wrestle any topic on to the floor, then beat it till it bleeds. Which is how I ended up pondering on several... practices which I enjoy tremendously, but don't really seek an audience for. Okay folks, out of the gutter, and stick with me here.

While long showers are publicly considered to be akin to smacking puppies these days, no one really looks at you askance for indulging. So where is the line crossed? For example, my secret sin is fiddling with, and removing, ingrown hairs. Oh my God, the joy, the sheer relief, the sense of accomplishment that comes from squeezing out an ingrown hair. Disgusting? You betcha! Will I stop doing it in the privacy of my own bathroom? Not f*ckin' likely, son!

Where does guilty pleasure cross the line to secret sin? And if it's not hurting anyone - apart fm my beautician anyway (apparently, my 'helping' is about as much use as a Gideon's Bible in a cathouse) - does it really matter?

C'mon ppl, 'fess up - what do you do when no one's watching?

LOLCats, and How to Get Them

The trick with any good game I've found is to take it to its natural limits and kick it when its down, as it were. It is only when the creative spirit is unfettered by restraints such as good taste that great things can truly be achieved, and you can say things which induce others to vomit into their mouths. The Kittens as Dictators game is one such example.

The rules are simple: using words such as kitten, cat, miaow and purr - all feline words, in the Kitten game - slightly modify the names of great dictators, to turn them into to kittens. May I present:

• Chairman Miaow
• Pussolini
• the Russian President, Pusstin
• Nikitten Kruschev
• Mikhail Gorbacat
  
• Emperor Hirokitti (see how I spelt that?! lol!)

Of course, then we come to the 'kick it when its down' section of the endeavour. This is a free-for-all beyond the boundaries of common decency, and sense. 'Tis awesome!

Artistes

• Gustav Miaowler
• Richard Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkitties' (miaow me-me-miaow MIAOW! miaow me-me-miaow MIAOW! I love the smell of tuna in the morning! Smells like victory!)
• Picatsso

Geographical Locations

• where kittens seek solitude: Catalonia
• where kittens are originally fm: Purrsia
• where Bohemian kitties play: Purris

It's terrible, isn't it? But I bet you can think of some of your own...