However, as has been rightly pointed out, what use is my female love to sailors? Traditionally the military service of choice for those fellas who enjoy some hawt! male-on-male action, the jokes just write themselves. Seriously, spend any amount of time with a sailor and, if you're anything like me, you'll do yourself physical damage desperately sitting on the awesome, You're in the Navy - you must be gay! jokes. I'm sure it never gets old, rite guys?
Apparently not! Just as women can tell domestic abuse jokes, and raise a laugh, so can navy boys tell gay jokes. And, God help me, they're funny bastards.
While I spend far too much time giggling in the presence of officers (fine, I admit it - there may even be some hair flicking), the deadpan delivery of several lines had me close to hospitalised (admittedly only because I slid of the chair because I was laughing). Ladies and gentleman, the future of Her Majesty's Royal Australian Navy:
- It's not gay if you're underway!
- It's only gay if you push back
- They'll be separated after lights out with a bucket of cold water...
P.S. A big 'Thank You!' to the Overlord of the Pacific: you've introduced me to a level of crassness I never even knew was humanly possible.
* A nod to David Sedaris - he comes up with the genius, I merely steal and degrade it.
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And guess what book I finished last night?
Was it Cat in the Hat?
No it was not.
Was it James Joyce's Ulysses?
No, I'm a masochist, but not THAT much of one.
It was Mr Sadaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day. Excellent for when you want to freak out strangers by laughing out loud at airports and planes.
Job done sir, job done.
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