Please, Please, Tell Me Know - WTF?!

Who the fuck are the Jonas Brothers? And why do I care?

Please, Please, Tell Me Now - A/S/L?

Ladies and Gentlemen, let it be known here and now: I have a ring on the third finger of my left hand. The kind with diamonds. That's right, folks - she's getting married!
I'm very excited by this - my fiance is a lovely man who's my favourite, and my choice for the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.

However, just 'cause I'm engaged, doesn't mean I'm blind. There are still many attractive ppl out there, some of whom I've been known to /gasp! shock!/ flirt with. However, there are some ppl who don't know I'm getting married.

Which brings me to Mel's Lunchtime Ethics Poll: at what point do you have to come clean? I drink coffee with these ppl - we try not to talk about our secret pain, instead opting for some light character assassination of anyone foolish enough not to join us - have the occasional veen-ho, and e-mail them about uni coursework. I've worn the ring around them, but neither I nor them have commented on its sparkly symbolism.

When does it stop being simply a fact that we don't really talk about our relationships, and start moving towards blatant misrepresentation? Is this a new and interesting form of cheating? And, has it been left so long that to say anything would just be creepy?

When is it time to make clear you're taken???

We Need To Talk*

Gosh, I think I've started something here - it seems that EVERYONE has a phrase that makes them believe that it'd be more pleasurable to cut their ears off with blunt spoons that actually have to listen and respond to.

However, if we're talking about the phrase that seems to kick your knees out from under you so your stomach seems to go all floaty with fear, I must, MUST include:

• I'm going to stop you there...

It appears that it is humanly impossible to finish that sentence with, I've heard all I need to hear - you obviously deserve this million dollars/large amount of chocolate/a cuddle.



* title courtesy of TLD

I'm Surprised

People who behave in a way that is rude and unpleasant, and then have this behaviour explained away by someone who likes them (i.e. not me) as being the result of them feeling shy in the situation, do not come across as charming and vulnerable, so much as complete fuckchops. Just pointing this out.

We Need To Talk*

OH MY GOD, there are other ppl reading this blog! Please, please - sit down, have a drink, would like a foot rub? Hot sex with the celebrity of your choice? My eternal and undying affection? DONE!**

The lovely Dave commented that there are several choice opening statements that are designed with the sole purpose of making you realise that you're conversation partner doesn't have shiny hair, so much as greasy strands that need a wash.

Here, in no particular order, are the lines that indicate it's time to down your drink, pick up your handbag, and head home alone.

• Don't take this the wrong way, but...
• I want to explain why...
• No offence intended, but...
• I'm just being honest when I say...

Of course, I'm sure that are some other charmers out there: ante up, people!



* title courtesy of the lovely Dave (yes, it IS an actual title. Soon I shall start referring to him as TLD)

** Chances of having sex with the celebrity of your choice simply b/c you read this blog are slim to none... Unless they have excellent taste, and you meet them here!
But you've totally got my affection, for shizzle.

I'm Surprised

People who begin a sentence with the words, 'I don't want to sound like wanker but...' inevitably end up sounding like a wanker.

Especially if they complete that sentence with the phrase, 'I understand Post Modernism, and it changed my life.'

I'm Surprised DOUBLESHOT

* There is no way to adequately explain the fact that you were pulling faces at a complete stranger because you'd thought that they were someone you actually know in a way that means you don't look like a complete dickhead.

* No one reads this Blog. Looking at the brilliance of the first pt. of this post, I can't find any reasonable explanation for this.