Reasons I Should Organise My Computer

Because it's REALLY hard to explain why this image is part of a screensaver slideshow.

P.S. No, it's NOT me. Do I strike you as someone who'd give any kind of f*ck about National Geographic, or atlases? (That's what I keep the Lieutenant on for). Mmmm, you're a dirty little continent, aren't you? A dirty, naughty continent...

I'm Surprised

Lisa, the kick-ass female contestant on this year's series of The Biggest Loser, spent six hours on a spin bike.

She must have worn a wetsuit, which she peed in, before pulling the leg out, and wiggling it away. At this point, she was butt-f*cked by a seal.

Welcome to CultMart - For All Your Cult Needs

CultMart, Where We Don't Think Your Attachment to Denim is Unhealthy!

At CultMart, we seek to provide all your Cult needs. Ever wondered what kind of shop has coffins on display? CultMart does :)

Forget Crocs, Try the New Cults!

No longer does fundamental Christianity mean you need to remain forever unstylish. Here at CultMart, we have the very latest in comfortable and stylish footwear. Just slip them on for the long walk to the Gateway of Heaven. Comes in all shades of denim!

Cult in a Box!

Including a copy of 'Saviour for Dummies', this product will make sure you're never alone again. With followers included, you too can become your own Saviour. Pass on your wisdom to easily misguided individuals, pre-programmed to accept you as their God.

NB. Residential compound out of government reach not included.

Cult-os!

Delicious and nutritious, Cult-os! are the perfect way to start your day. Packed full of fibre and energy, and special ingredients, this cereal will have you praying to the Almighty all day long!

That Great Tasting Cult Flavour!

Get high on life! Forget alcohol, CultAid will have you and your followers ready to prove your devotion with just one mouthful. Comes in the refreshing flavour of cyanide.

Because Nothing Says Cult Like Ramshackle!

We stock a full range of metal items from dilapidated trailers to beat-up utes. For that extra special rustic touch, we even sell rust.

You're Not a Cult if You Don't Like Denim!

Forget denim as just an every day necessity - CultMart Bridal Boutique stocks white denim for every girl's special day. Nothing is more beautiful than white denim on a soon-to-be fourth wife.

Limited Offer: Buy Four Denim Products, GET ONE FREE!

Our New Catalogue COMING SOON!

CultMart - Number 2 in Google Searches :)

I'm Blaming Andrew

Listen to this, and tell me that Prodigy hasn't been ruined forever. I dare you.